How to Say No Kindly- Without Guilt
NO- a simple word that nearly everyone cannot say without hesitation. Finding the right way to say no can be very difficult, especially if you do not want to disappoint someone or you are worried that they may hold it against you.
I believe there is an art to saying no to events, extra work, or things you don’t want to attend to. It has taken me many years to understand the importance of saying no. It’s not only crucial for your health, but it's also about having a life that isn’t just about pleasing others.
When it comes to work, that extra money might seem tempting in the moment, but if you’ve been going non-stop and truly need a break, you may need to reconsider your priorities (you should be number one!). Taking a day off could leave you feeling more refreshed, productive, and positive, both at work and in life. As my nan always says, you don’t want to “burn the candle at both ends”.
HOW TO SAY NO KINDLY:
To your boss:
-“Thank you for the extra opportunity/ for thinking of me, but with my current workload and other life priorities, I won't be able to take on any extra right now, sorry.”
To a family member/ friend: (You can be a bit more honest, as your family and friends should be very understanding if you need a break)
- “I’m so sorry, but I just need a break as work/ life is crazy busy at the moment. Let’s organise a catch up soon, as I’d love to see you”- give more details if you feel that you need/ want to
To someone you aren’t as close with:
- “Thank you for including me! I can’t make it this time, but I hope it’s a great event”/ (whatever is happening)
In the end, your health is more important and so is your sanity sometimes.., in most instances you should just be able to say that you “can’t make it, sorry” and if they are good friends/ family they should understand (and if they don’t, you may need to re think who your closest friends are)
WHEN YOU SHOULD SAY NO:
1. You are physically or mentally exhausted and just need a break
Adding another thing to your to-do list can be very overwhelming and potentially lead to burnout. When you feel that you may be close to hitting rock bottom, that is the time that you should be saying no. Your health is so much more important than anything else.
2. You will be uncomfortable in the situation
There are times when it’s worth stepping out of your comfort zone, but if something doesn’t sit right with you and you can feel it in your gut, saying no is often the best response. This will ensure that you are not left feeling uneasy when you leave the situation.
3. You're only saying yes to please someone else
It is YOUR life. That is all I should have to say... Don't revolve your life by trying to please other people; it will leave you feeling more fatigued than fulfilled.
RESULTS FROM SAYING NO:
- Reduced stress levels
- Building self-respect as you are standing firm and sticking with your gut instinct
- Creating a space for the right opportunities to come up
- Having a better version of yourself as you are less overworked and overstimulated